Happy Birthday Dad

Today is Dad's birthday. I really can't remember what we did last year, but I'm sure it had something to grilling out and strawberries over short cake. :) I miss him. I miss him the most when I'm outside and the sun is shining. These are some of dad's favorite things, I'll put them here to be able to read whenever we want. 1) Sunshine 2) Rain (funny, I know!) 3) Gardening in the rain 4) Freshly mowed grass 5) Cucumbers and anything else "from the garden" 6) The "no shirt in warm weather" rule 7) Moving boulders around for the thrill of it 8) Grandbabies and berries 9) Hunting like an Indian 10) Camp fires with beer 11) Any good meal 12) A hard days work 13) His truck and the fact that it could potentially climb Mount Everest if need be 14) Josie and a stick 15) Front porch and coffee 16) Being uncomfortable while watching tv in the garage 17) "yelling" at mom 18)picking on Curt 19) slicked hair 20) his cell phone 21) his camera 22) Birds at the bird feeder 23) Anything God made.

Squirmy Baby!

The little baby Zirnsak in my belly has become very active! When they say you really "feel" baby #2 more than first baby, they are right! Just one day I fel the baby alll day long swimmin around, and ever since then, I feel movements all day long. It is such a wonderful and crazy thing! We will know the sex of Baby Zirnsak #2 on June 1st!! Keep your fingers crossed for 10 fingers and toes! :)

Music Man

I have been listening to my iPod on shuffle since my boss has been out of the office. It has been freaking awesome. As much as I love music and rockin' out, I'm pretty surprised I never became a musician, as a matter of fact, as much as my siblings also like to rock out, I'm surprised one us didn't become a rocker. Well, professional rocker, because we all rock pretty hard to music whenever it's on. :)
But with my iPod on shuffle, I really have the opportunity to hear all kinds of music throughout the day. Like right now, Red Hot Chili Peppers "love roller coaster" is playing and I can't tell you the last time I listened to this song! Always a thrill for the next song!
So, keep the music loud fellas!!

Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday was my second mother's day! And it was a very special one! When I walked up the stairs from my shower a little sleepy baby and his daddy were waiting for me to give me my gift! Jackson, in his knowing way, got me a bird feeder! He is such a sweet boy! :) I haven't decided on where I want to hang it, but it is really nice and I'm excited to enjoy the 34234809283094 birds that fly around our yard already. I know another little being that will love the bird feeder and her name is Mailey! Our springer spaniel, a bird dog. :)
But thank you Matthew for a wonderful mother's day full of all my favorite things, sleepy babies, food, and sleep. :)

The Sun Is Shining

But it's not feeling too happy. Ever since dad has been gone, I feel like there's a lot missing. I don't know if it's just because he's gone or if it's the thought of him being gone?? I honestly just feel like he's going to show up, or call, or write a note. I'm not sure how to get through all of this. And I can't say that Dad and I had a close relationship to where we called everyday or carried on long detailed conversations whenever we did spend time together, but he's still my dad and there's still something just gone from my life. It's an awful feeling to have someone just ripped from you. Death is never easy but at least whenever someone falls sick or hurt, you can prepare yourself and say your goodbyes and I love yous. We had no idea. God just decided that was the time for dad and didn't take the rest of us in to consideration. Growing up in the church you're taught to not "question" why God does the things that He does... I mean, we were always taught to question the meaning or the definition of things, but not really ever question the "why the heck?". But at this point, I can honestly say I can't stop questioning... I try and try to just tell myself I'll never know WHY but I can't. I have to keep questioning and questioning this path and why God put us on it. I think me not going through this like I need to is affecting my relationship with everyone else in my life. I am hoping to see the "window" that will shed some light open.